Once upon a time, in the Land of Wine,
There lived a gaggle of old Kings
They just ruled, you know what I mean?
Other than one little thing, their kingdom was fine
You see, for all the kings, they had no real queens.
What the tiny princess dared to ask,
“Who are these old white men?
Who elected them?
Who, where and when?
Kings aren’t elected. Oh no, that’s just not how it’s done.
There is no campaigning, no stumping, they don’t even run.
You see, the thing about a king,
is that no one knows from where they come
They show up early, that’s the one thing we know.
As others arrive, they ask of them, “Who are you, sir?”
“Your king, of course!” is the answer.
To which the only acceptable reply is,
Now and then, a person might say, “You, you that calls yourself a king!
Can you stop doing that? Stop doing that thing!
We don’t want it, it really is the worst!”
After the gasping, and after the shock, they nearly burst,
“You can’t say that to me, I was here first!”
This makes perfect sense to those who follow.
“The old white guy has a point,
He was here first, you know.
You shouldn’t be so mean to the King,
Being first is everything!”
But the tiny princess wasn’t swayed
She wanted her answers
About the way that game was being played
She dared question one king
The one that was most nearly tiny princess sized
His skin was loose and covered with ink
A tattooed twig, mentally on the brink
He stamp, stamp, stamped his feets!
“I’m so very, very mad!,” he was heard to say.
His feets stamping was so prolonged and fierce
It went on and on, for oh so long, day after day
until even his adorable little purse dog ran away.
The other kings joined in
All of them upset
If you dare to challenge them
This is what you will get
Their tone became snotty
Their logic; quite spotty
One cried “I know just what we’ll do;”
”we’ll sue, we’ll sue, they can’t say that about you!”
Said one king, to the other, “we’ll sue, we’ll sue,
I got your back, you can count on me, my brother!”
The real problem for these kings
isn’t that they’re old men, or they’re white.
There is nothing wrong with these things.
But they need to think before they speak
It’s more important to treat people right
Than it is to be loud to cover that you’re weak
Yes, you can attack and blame
Keep stamping your feets
You thought you were our king
and want it to always be the same
We get it, you can stop now
While some still scrape and bow
Most of us get it
This isn’t new, some of us always thought you were lame
Can we pet your dog? Do he bite?*
*With apologies to Mr. Robinson’s entire neighborhood