HOT Valentine Gifts for the Wine Lover

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It is the day before Valentine’s Day and you haven’t a clue what to give your wine lover. Perhaps we can help.

When someone contacted us about tasting the Fifty Shades of Grey “White Silk” and “Red Satin” blends I was skeptical. I had not read the books. I was avoiding all the hype. From the title alone, I surmised that the book was about a 50-plus dame who suddenly sheds inhibitions at the hands of a well-schooled, grifting Mr. Goodbar. Or worse, a mid-life crisis Sir finds a young plaything to help fuel his jet rocket.

Don’t call me Stella — I am not interested in some romance novel designed to instruct me in the fine arts of getting my groove back.

Book, wines, then movie. Is this the Harry Potter of  Kink? No, thank you. However, I respect the person who inquired, so I agree to taste the wines. I was not ready to simply Exit to Eden on faith, so I download a digital copy of the book.

Let me be the first to admit, I was wrong on both counts.

cork

I am convinced the marvel of digital downloads has helped jettison book sales. ‘Proper’ and improper ladies can revel in canes, carabiners, neckties and handcuffs while no one is the wiser. Though I am still reading the ‘basic vanilla’ section, I recognize the genre. The first of E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy is in that same group of books that my mother forbade me to read “until I was married.” She read them, of course, but I was not allowed.

"If you spill the wine, I won't let you c..." Christian Grey, in Fifty Shades of Grey
Hah!

I would sneak home from high school, two hours before she returned from work — and read. Ah, the things one learns from a book. Like the difference between pornography and erotica.

Gloria Steinem once said, “Pornography is about dominance, erotica is about mutuality.” But what if we mutually agree that I will be submissive and you will be dominant? Or better yet, that I am Dom to your Sub. Are we now talking porn or erotica?

Wait. Do we actually care when it comes to wine?

So when I reach the end of the Google Play “Free Sample” I open the Fifty Shades of Grey wines hoping to not totally hate them.  I end up be pleasantly surprised that I like them. Much as I do the book. (I then download the entire book.)

“Wine plays an important role in Fifty Shades of Grey, adding to the sensuality that pervades a number of scenes,” says author E.L. James. “I’ve always had a penchant for good wine, so combining two of my passions to blend Red Satin and White Silk was a natural extension of the series.”

Readers of Fifty Shades of Grey will recognize the herringbone pattern of grey on the label; the phrase printed on the cork as well as the lower label: You. Are. Mine.

“White Silk” and “Red Satin” — these are not wine names that most men are going to select for themselves. But as gifts for your wife or girlfriend — now we’re talking.

Fifty Shades of Grey “White Silk”

Accessories not included. But I can tell you where to buy them!Crisp and refreshing, with gardens of floral, this blend of primarily Gewurtztraminer and Sauvignon Blanc is an ideal start to your Valentine Evening. Paired with fresh greens topped with smoked salmon, tuna tartare with endive and arugula or even a grilled pork chop — the honey and pear balances with juicy, tangy grapefruit to make a delightful…conversation starter. We paired it with broccoli florets tossed in rendered duck fat.

Heavenly!

Fifty Shades of Grey “Red Satin”

A blend of Petit Sirah and Syrah, this one is a bit of a lip biter, especially after it opens up. Cocoa powder, black cherry and leather. A dash of clove to spice things up. This is something a man can sink his teeth into, after the lady enjoys her glass of White Silk. I will let you anticipate all you have coming.

Pair it with a medium rare Filet Mignon. Devilishly good.

Both wines are 13.5% alcohol so neither will put you under, or make you do anything you wouldn’t rather. At the attractive price of only $15.99* each you can afford to add a dozen roses and a tasty dinner. Give her a copy of the book, or a gift card for a digital download. That way she can read it while riding on the BART, Tube or EL without worry. Even while lunching with her Mother.

To find Fifty Shades of Grey wines near you, consult the shopping locator on the 50 Shades of Grey wine website. For Houston-area wine lovers, you can find them at just about any Specs. If you visit the Bay Area Blvd location in Clear Lake, ask for Rodney… he’ll point you in the right direction.

Yes, I know, I told you to avoid buying her sexy lingerie, because that was for YOU — not for her. But maybe you can get her a little something extra, and let her know she can feel free to show you who is Boss.

At least for the evening. You can thank me later.

Cheers!

The WineWonkette

*Accessories not included.