Chicken-napping update

There has been some movement in the case of my beloved missing chicken. The evil genius pirates that took him hostage have delivered a couple of communiques. The first was delivered as an image and is reproduced below.


Can you imagine anyone thinking that was even remotely funny? Then these sick bastards sent this message:

You Chicken will officially be returned to your safety by monday. In the mean time the rooster’s will have their way with it. Until then….

These are definitely some desperate and evil people that we are dealing with. I am pretty sure that this is not their first time kidnapping and molesting chickens. Despite the horrors that my sweet and formerly innocent chicken must be facing, I was overjoyed to find out that we would soon be reunited. This morning I rushed into work only to find this message:

Due to this weekends stream of unfortunate wheather; I must inform you that today will not be the day that you receive your precious.

Until further notice…

Imagine my dismay? Please keep your fingers crossed that this depraved band of chicken rapers return my chicken unharmed tomorrow.

Scroll to top