Chicken-napping update

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There has been some movement in the case of my beloved missing chicken. The evil genius pirates that took him hostage have delivered a couple of communiques. The first was delivered as an image and is reproduced below.

chickennapped

Can you imagine anyone thinking that was even remotely funny? Then these sick bastards sent this message:

You Chicken will officially be returned to your safety by monday. In the mean time the rooster’s will have their way with it. Until then….

These are definitely some desperate and evil people that we are dealing with. I am pretty sure that this is not their first time kidnapping and molesting chickens. Despite the horrors that my sweet and formerly innocent chicken must be facing, I was overjoyed to find out that we would soon be reunited. This morning I rushed into work only to find this message:

Due to this weekends stream of unfortunate wheather; I must inform you that today will not be the day that you receive your precious.

Until further notice…

Imagine my dismay? Please keep your fingers crossed that this depraved band of chicken rapers return my chicken unharmed tomorrow.

  • Hang in there sweet chicken … hang in there … we will hold candlelight vigils at the nation's capital everyday until your return if we have to …

    • Thank you so much. You don't know how much that means to me.

  • Oh dear. Perhaps now would be a good time to consider a bribe with a bottle of your finest.

    • I doubt that chicken molesters can tell the good stuff from antifreeze. ;)

  • Anton

    My fingers are crossed. :)

    • With Charles'?

      • The chicken napper should re-think his review of a certain Space Center Blvd restaurant that shall remain nameless. Or else we shall think he was taken in by the electronic wine list and “Gentlemen's Club” ambiance.

        Don't make me post a link to your blog….World Domination of Helpless Rubber Chickens.

        Bring back the Chicken! We've got your number!

  • The Chicken-napper

    The exchange will be tomorrow…
    You know what you need to do…
    Or I'll be having chicken stew!
    Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!

    • Let's hope that you can take your medicine like a manatee.

      • Jason

        And exactly how does a manatee take it's medicine?
        You should save your efforts for reabilitating your chicken. Doctors are time consuming and they get pretty expensive!
        Just bring the ransom.
        If your extra cooperative, you may even get your chef back. O_o

    • Dear Chicken Napper:

      The time has come to return the chicken to its rightful owner. Don't you think there has been enough heartache lately? And of course, given that you work in a federal capacity, no wine can be left on the premises.

      Have a heart. Bring Back the Chicken!

  • Maybe you should call in an expert to help? http://thechickenwhisperer.blogspot.com/

  • You need Jack Bauer, ASAP!

    • I know this chickennapping bastard. Jack Bauer is afraid of him.

      • jghigliotti

        How about Chuck Norris?

        • Norris wets his pants over Jack Bauer, he definitely doesn't want to mess with Charl…um, Jason.

  • At least one of the Chicken Nappers is a Longhorn and a CodeGeek:

    http://wdi.dyndns.org/wordpress/?cat=2

  • Dear Chicken Napper:

    The time has come to return the chicken to its rightful owner. Don't you think there has been enough heartache lately? And of course, given that you work in a federal capacity, no wine can be left on the premises.

    Have a heart. Bring Back the Chicken!

  • Dear Chicken Napper:

    The time has come to return the chicken to its rightful owner. Don't you think there has been enough heartache lately? And of course, given that you work in a federal capacity, no wine can be left on the premises.

    Have a heart. Bring Back the Chicken!

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